Why I Can't Give You A Kidney. (Or A Book... Yet.)
A.K.A. "Don't you dare unsubscribe now!"
Hey friends, neighbors, supporters, and haters. A brief break from the “Hip Hop Can Save America!” stuff, just to give you some important, personal Manny Faces stuff.
I was really trying to save this next newsletter to announce my biggest career news to date, the release of my debut book which was supposed to be this week. Just my luck, there has been a (hopefully only) slight delay with the publisher, and while I’m anxiously disappointed, I will leave it up to the universe to decide exactly when it’s time for it to be offically born. You’ll be among the first to know.
So, if you had been playing along at home, wondering, “So where this book at? You SURE you wrote a book??” Yes, I’m sure. But that’s why I can’t give it to you. At least for the moment.
What I can never do, is give you a kidney. That’s because I only have one.
I only have one, because I already gave one away.
Six years ago today, at the butt-crack of dawn, I underwent voluntary kidney donation surgery to help save my daughter’s life.
#OldestGirlFaces, aka Porsha, aka Porsh Delancey, had both of her kidneys fail due to a blood illness that had gone undiscovered for too long. As she sat on the seven-ish-year long organ donation list, and during her four years on three-times-a-week dialysis, I underwent a bunch of tests to determine if I was a suitable donor.
At the time, my daughter was 27 years old.
(Me? Oh, I was fortysomething. Don’t be nosy.)
The point is, normally, this goes the other way around. A child tries to find out if they can donate a kidney to an ill, aging parent. But for any potential donor, the procedure is the same.
First off, they check for a blood type match. I got the good blood, O-Negative, so I’m a “universal donor.” That’s a plus. Next, a specialized blood match test. Pinch of mine, a splash of hers, mix ‘em up, and look for some kind of medically-scientifical bad reaction. T’was all good. Like (half) ebony and ivory, our blood lives in perfect harmony. We were pretty much good to go.
Overall, and as you might expect with close relatives, the chances are better — but not guaranteed. I mean, even as blood besties, nothing is guaranteed. However, as a potential donor learns through a few training (a.k.a. YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?!?) sessions, humans have gotten pretty damn good at kidney transplants. So, even a relatively-healthy fortysomething-year-old can be a solid candidate.
For those who don’t know (I didn’t really think about it before all this), you can live a perfectly healthy life with just one kidney. In fact, I even heard stories where grown ass people had lived their whole life with only one kidney, without ever knowing it, until some other medical procedure called and said “surprise!!”
I will shamelessly admit that I asked, “Can I still drink though?” They bascially said, “Of course. That would be an issue if it was the liver.” To which I replied, “OK good. Otherwise I woulda had to tell my daughter, ‘Girl, there must be another way.’”
I was joking of course, but the truth is that after recovering from the surgery, as long as you don’t do anything crazy like get diabetes or get stabbed in your remaining kidney, it’s kinda like the ServPro of organ donation.
It’s like it never happened.
(Though I do have a helluva C-Section scar and four tiny incision scars. I just tell people I had a breached baby right after getting shot.
No one believes me. Anyway…)
Assuming her body didn’t outright reject what the doctors later called a fantastic kidney (ah thank you very much *bows*), my daughter would just have to take, like, 2309482308 pills an hour or whatever, but aside from that, she, too, would be perfectly fine, and could live a fully functional life again.
Which she is and which she has.
Now, eventually, because she is so young, she might actually need another transplant. Organs transplanted from a deseaced donor can last maybe 10 years, while organs from living, related donors can push a bunch more. It’s not inevitable, but it might be necessary for her to do this again in a decade. (Though, to be fair, by then they’ll probably be 3D-printing kidneys left and right by then, so hopefully it won’t be too bad.)
Want to see something cute?
Last year, after talking about it forever, we got matching tattoos to mark the date. She had others but it was my first. Now I want 23432428 more of course but them sh*ts are expensive and I’m just a lowly self-employed journalist, podcaster, and independent scholar talking about the cultural and social benefits of Hip Hop music and culture, which isn’t exactly RocNation-will-manage-you stuff.
Which is why you could consider upgrading your subscription…
…not for tattoos, duh, but to keep doing the important Hip Hop Can Save America! stuff… Anyway, I digress…
So, today is our Kidneyversary, and I like to spend it each year reaching out to my audiences to preach the gospel of kidney donation. If you know someone who needs a kidney, consider being a donor. If you are suffering through kidney disease, feel free to share my story to help entice folks to consider donating. I’m happy to talk more about it and answer any questions anyone might have.
If this really touched you, and you want to hear more from my brilliant and beautiful daughter and I about our particular experiences, check out this great video we did to celebrate our one year kidneyversary — one that we sadly couldn’t share together thanks to COVID.
WATCH: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/16ANAGzwGY/
Thanks for giving me a few moments of your time to share this with you. I really, really wish my book was ready. I feel like it’s one of my life’s greatest accomplishments and I’m nervously excited to share it with the world.
But this here? This was one of my life’s greatest decisions. Even though Porsha is my child who I love dearly — and we would do anything for our children — I also had #BabyGirlFaces to think about. At the time, she was only 4. Porsha understood my decision couldn’t be automatic.
Plus, I mean, come on … It’s freaking scary! I ain’t no punk, but still…
But in the end, it didn’t take much convincing, and clearly I feel I made the right choice. I encourage everyone to consider my story if it ever becomes a choice that you have to make.
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